September 4, 2012 § Leave a comment

This is a really bad poem I wrote a while back, as an ode to a computer of mine that was dying.  We eventually fixed it, but god it was a chore.  Note my 19 year old self attempting humour.


Two score days, and one night ago (closer to a week and a half, but whatever),

my computer broke my heart,

For without warning, or heads up,

it started to restart (see what I did there?).


A bootup game informed me,

that my toshiba was corrupt (-ed (not a note from the editor, just me making this bit make more sense from a prose perspective)),

To fix it I should pay some cash,

it really was abrupt.


I am not so dumb, to fall for this,

so I bypassed its design,

and sent it running, on its way,

as I wished to mine.


To my horror I soon found,

some programs did not work,

Minecraft, chrome and svchost,

this problem was a jerk.


(To those wondering, svchost is this thing that’s required to run pretty much any problem, and it got corrupted, so it would end up crashing every now again, and I would need to reboot the machine, which was a problem because you can’t shut down without it, so I had to force it off, and when I restarted it would only do so correctly about two-thirds of the time)


Thinking myself computer wise,

I sought myself a cure,

Combo-fix did thus appear,

A program quite demure.


I ignored the signs of danger,

and ran a quicky fix,

The program did some nasty work,

and filled it up with tricks.


(despite what this sounds like, combofix is, so far as I’m aware, quite a good program, my comp was just completely… rooted (you’ll get this terrible joke in a minute))


It backed up all essential files,

and set up a restore,

Then delivered me a chilling note,

which shook me to my core.


A rootkit program, it had found, (I mean, really, a rootkit? who uses those in this day and age? seriously? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)

but it could solve it all,

just restart your computer now,

and go back to Australian Crawl (this one is purposefully a stretch, I just couldn’t help it)


Alas my problems have not stopped,

for when I turn it on,

it simply turns itself off,

and bugger this for a lark.


(alternate final lines if you don’t want to ruin it include:

*So now I can’t place a pylon. (only comp that I had easy access to that ran SC2)

*and that is- AAAHHH A PYTHON.

*its soul is now bygone (terrible use of the word here)

*and so this ends

-anon (I’m so pretentious I think this is clever :P))


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